Sad News

It is with heavy hearts that Frank and I share our tragic news.

Sadly, we lost the twins earlier this week.

We understand that some will want to know the details of what happened, and others will not.  For those that wish for more information, I will include it at the end of this post.

We would like to extend our sincere gratitude for the love and support we have received from everyone during this amazing journey.  When we stared this blog, and decided to share our story so publicly, we knew that as well as sharing our joy, that there may come a day when the news would not be joyous.  In for the good, in for the bad.  Although this end is terrible, we are grateful to have had the experience, and will be doing our best to move through it and back to a place of health and hope.

Without a doubt, this will be a difficult time for us, and we thank you in advance for your patience.  We are astounded by the outpouring of support to us, and we wanted to first say thank you, and also to say that no one need feel obligated to say or do anything – we don’t require poetry, as we know that sometimes there just isn’t words.  There is nothing we need, as there’s really nothing anyone can do, so we simply ask that you hug your families.  We are so grateful for our family, our friends, and our community, and just knowing that we are loved and supported is powerful in itself.

Frank and I are moving moment to moment, and supporting each other in our grieving.  Many have asked us already if we will try again, and we don’t have that answer right now, as it is a much more complicated question than many understand.  We need to honour Hokey & Pokey, and heal our hearts before we can think about the future.

Again, we thank you for everything, and we love you.

-Claire & Frank

***

Optional Reading: What Happened

The cerclage procedure I had done on Feb 2 was intended to compensate for my compromised cervix, a result of two LEEP procedures done to remove my cervical cancer last year. Believe it or not, the cervix is the only thing that keeps babies inside the womb, and an incompetent cervix can easily, (and dramatically) terminate a pregnancy.  The cerclage reinforces the cervix, but in my case, mine was so damaged already that there was not a lot of tissue to work with, and so the suture slipped.  Unfortunately, there aren’t really any symptoms that go along with an event like this, so I had no idea that anything was wrong.

I lost the first baby at home, on Tuesday morning as Frank & I were readying for work.  Frank was a powerhouse, called the doctor and rushed us to the BC Women’s hospital.  An ultrasound revealed that the second baby was still ok, and we were very relieved.  It was decided to perform an emergency repair/second cerclage to attempt to prevent the same fate for our remaining baby.  The surgery was successful, the baby was ok, and I was kept overnight for observation.  We would have an ultrasound in the morning (Wednesday) to confirm that the baby was still fine.

Sadly, the morning’s ultrasound revealed no heartbeat.  It is difficult to say for sure what happened, but it is very common for the second twin to not survive after the loss of the first.

The staff at the BC Women’s were amazing, and our obstetrician was so wonderful with us, and we are so grateful to have had her through this terrible experience.  She personally insisted on performing the awful task ahead, and I was kept through the day on and overnight on Wednesday, so that I could once again be knocked out for surgery, as the sutures needed to be removed, as well as the remains of the second twin.

I lost a lot of blood, and was very weakened from the events, as well as two rounds of general anaesthetic, but on Thursday morning I was deemed ok to go home.  My physical recovery is going well, but it will take time for our hearts to heal.

We’d like to take another moment to say thank you for choosing to follow us on this path.  Through cervical cancer and infertility, having friends to cheer us on and lift us up is a great treasure.  This may not be the end of the story yet, but it certainly is the end of this chapter.

5 Responses to “Sad News”

  1. Manuela Says:

    Holding you both in the light… along with your beloved Hokey and Pokey together with my own lost little souls that shared the same fate.

    With all my heart and soul.

  2. Amara Says:

    Words cannot express how sorry I am for you guys right now. I truly admire how brave both of you are for posting this while grieving. Healing hugs to both of you. Take the time you need. We’ll be there when you’re ready.

  3. Sarah Says:

    Yes, words cannot express the sorrow. You two have amazing strength and the love that bonds you will pull you forward. Much love to you both.

  4. Abi Says:

    You don’t know me, but I’ve followed your story for a while now, and I am so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

  5. Kale Says:

    Hitoshi and I just got home a week ago, so I just read this now. I am so sorry for your loss. Much love to both of you.

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